We are in the midst of fun toddler times. For the past two nights the boys have really been fighting going down for bed. I know it's not because they aren't tired, C. almost fell asleep on the swing at the park. And A. almost fell asleep on the couch before dinner. This was because they didn't nap yesterday. Honestly, switching to toddler beds has been a nightmare. I know it's part of the boys growing up, but sweet mother of pearl, it has been a pain in my ass.
I had planned on running yesterday morning but we had a super long fight trying to get the boys to bed, then both of them were up at 3AM and A. was up again at 5AM. When my alarm went off at 6AM I said, "Yep, I know it's only a half hour more of sleep, but screw it." and went back to bed.
Thankfully they stayed asleep last night. I popped out of bed when my alarm went off and headed out on my merry way.
Dreaming Small mentioned this in a blog post and I agree with her:
"When I run, I don't feel fat."
It's so very, very true. Even when I get passed by faster, skinnier runners I don't think, "Man, I wish I could be small enough to run in those tiny shorts." I think, "Damn, that woman is fast. You go, lady!" and maybe I pick up my pace for a few strides just to feel a little more badass. Sometimes I think my legs are too tired or how my lungs are burning, or even how awesome a song is. I get distracted by the sights around my neighborhood (Squirrel! Rabbit!) and by watching for cars.
When I am running I am a machine. I may be a bigger machine, but I am still a machine!
Which brings me to this:
I was listening to the radio this morning, our local sports talk station, 97.1 The Ticket, in case you are around here, a subject came up that bugged me. Now, I know I tend to listen to shows that are geared towards men, I can't help it, I just like to hear the sports stuff more than any updates on the stupid family that starts with a K or Miley Cyrus or whomever.
One of the male DJs started telling this story about the model, Tess Holliday, featured on the cover of the People Magazine Body Issue. Here is a link to People's pictures of her. The first thing he talked about was how in the 90's when the super skinny model look was popular everyone complained because it was super unhealthy and how negative it was, etc, etc. He continued to comment how he felt putting a woman this big (and from the way they described her you would've thought she was an enormous whale) on the cover of a Body Issue, was just as unhealthy as the super skinny models of the past. His belief was by showing a woman who was beautiful, even as a size 22, it was going to make people think being obese was good? I don't know what exactly he said, but either way, he was upset with her being on the cover of People.
There were jokes, of course. Another male DJ compared her to one of the Detroit Lions linebackers.
I sent in this text message:
I had to change the station, so I don't know if they read it on the air or not.
Fat shaming all around!
I realize that childhood obesity is pretty near epidemic standards. Kids are moving less and eating more crap. But the same people who hate Tess Holliday or Melissa McCarthy also howl at the moon when they see pictures of school lunches and blame Michele Obama when their kids are pissed about the crap served in the cafeteria.
Do you know what one of my clearest memories from childhood is? Reaching for a second helping of fish sticks and hearing my oldest brother say, "There's no such thing as a fat cheerleader, Meg."
I have hated my body for years. In fact, I think the only time in the last twenty years or so where I didn't hate my body was when I was pregnant.
Good for you, Tess, and to People for putting her on the cover. You go on with your badass self. And maybe some kid who hit puberty and all of a sudden got hips and breasts and some lovely pudge around her tummy will look at a picture of you and think, "Yep, she's lovely. I'm lovely, too."