I am the kind of person who will read all the awesome articles about how bigger women wear bikinis to the beach and nothing happens. And I get all pumped up by them. Like, hell yeah, ladies, let's wear whatever we want because we are all awesome and who cares if we have cellulite!
And then I have to go bathing suit shopping and I plummet back down to Earth.
Not this time.
Ever since the tankini became popular in, I don't know, the early 00's, I have been a fan. I have a lovely loose and flabby area at my inner thighs that even at my skinniest, and we're talking high school here, was still present. Once I found out I could buy a bathing suit that covered that area, I was sold.
There is a certain freedom in a tankini. There are also drawbacks. I have a larger chest and most tankinis, at least most of the ones I have tried, tend to allow for my voluptuousness to border on near toplessness. I don't need one of my post-pregnancy/post-breastfeeding boobies to pop out and scar some poor teenage lifeguard for life.
We signed our boys up for swim lessons this summer. I have never shied away from getting in the water with them, I refuse to let my body insecurities keep me from that. But, I have worn my tankinis, and struggled to keep the girls contained.
Well, fuck that.
Pardon my French.
I bought a bathing suit today. A one piece bathing suit that does nothing to hide my flabby legs, but keeps my chest supported and will work not only for swimming with the boys but also for the Masters swim class I am about to take.
And I reached for a pair of black bathing suit shorts to add to it and stopped myself. Because, you know what. Fuck. That.
Who cares if my inner thighs jiggle? Will that jiggle somehow cause the world to stop turning? Will children run screaming? No and no.
And other than the loose jiggle I have going on, my legs actually look pretty damn good. Hello runner's legs.
My one piece bathing suit instead of hiding my curves like my tankinis did, actually works with my curves, which is crazy since it is a damn bathing suit. I think I look pretty good in it!
Now we'll see how I feel after I wear it out in public.