Thursday, January 28, 2016

You Built Me Palaces Out of Paragraphs

I am just now getting over a lovely cold/sinus thing. I haven't worked out at all this week. Blergh. Oh yeah and I have yet another oral surgery scheduled for tomorrow except this time this one I am going to get anesthesia. Oh man, I am super nervous about that one.

I will not focus on the negative.

First thing's first, I self-published my book.

Amazon link found here.
This email made me cry.

And just in case I become world famous which I probably won't, but you never know right?, I started a writing blog here.

I have mentioned before how nervous I get before I perform. There is something very personal about singing and acting in front of people. I feel very vulnerable. That is how I feel releasing this book.

I sent my mom an email immediately after I shared the link on my Facebook page. I regretted sharing it because my friends were sharing the post and their friends, people I did not know, were buying the book. People I don't know are reading my book!

My mom said, "I understand. But the reason you wrote it was to have it read by others."

Moms are so smart.

I want people to read it. I don't want people to read it. I want to sing in front of an audience. I don't want to sing in front of an audience.


At least this is keeping my mind occupied and I'm not focusing on oral surgery. Oh shoot, now that I brought that up, I'm thinking about it!

Here's a fun distraction:

15 Reading Pet Peeves Every Book-Lover Understands

If you check out the link, let me know which ones you agree with.

I am done babbling. Before I sign off, I want to give a huge thank you to all of my Lovely Ladies who read early copies of the book and reported back to me. You're all the best!

Happy early weekend. I hope you have better plans than I do!

Friday, January 22, 2016

You Raise Me Up to More Than I Can Be

This post was inspired by a conversation in our Lovely Ladies Losing It group.

Do you have weight loss prizes you are striving for? I know I tend to think, well when I lose weight I will get x. Does anyone else do that? One of the things I promised myself when I hit Onederland was some new bras.

Unfortunately, the Universe had other plans and within two weeks my three bras (not including sports bras, what cna I say, I don't shop for myself) decided to give up the ghost. There is nothing quite as pleasant as being stabbed in the boob by an underwire, let me tell you.

I have a friend who just went to a bra store in our area not that long ago. If you are in the Detroit are it is called Busted. She recommended I go, and I love a clever store name, plus a small business, so I did. I had a bra fitting before my wedding (about five years, two kids, and thirty pounds ago). The place I went to was expensive, each bra was around seventy dollars. Since I expected the prices to be like that I figured I would get at least one bra I could wear and then go get some cheap bras elsewhere.

Well, I was pleasantly surprised when the average price of the bras was around forty dollars. Yay! The lovely sales assistant measured me, sans clothing, which was awkward and made me think I should have at least shaved my armpits. She was not the slightest bit disturbed by anything. In fact, I would describe her demeanor as nearly clinical but not in a bad way, just in an uber professional way. Woman clearly knows her stuff.

After getting measured, I tried on my first bra.

You guys...seriously, words cannot describe the difference. All of a sudden I had a clearly defined waist. And perky boobs! I looked good! Honestly, it looked like I lost ten pounds.

I ended up buying two regular bras and one sports bra. I love all three bras, although the sports bra still allows more jiggle than I like, even if my boobs look fabulous in it, so I will throw a regualar stretchy sports bra on over it next time I run.

If you have never been fitted for a bra, listen to me, GO GET FITTED! Wearing a proper bra that fits and lifts and makes your boobs look good is insanely awesome!

It was and still is a serious self-esteem boost. I have one old crappy bra left and when I wear that instead of my good ones I just feel different.

Another awesome thing, I have a card at the store with my sizes listed so if my husband wants to get me a present he can go there and get something that will fit. Plus, I can just go in, without getting fitted again, and get new bras. Yays all around!

Enjoy your weekend! If you are on the East Coast or in the path of Blizzard Jonas I hope you are all stocked up and ready to hunker down for the next two days. Thinking safe blizzard thoughts for you.

Once the storm clears GO GET FITTED FOR A BRA!!

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Is It Written in the Stars? Are We Paying For Some Crime?

Somehow, between kids and work and other projects, my time for reading has nearly disappeared. I used to read before bed every single night. Now I find myself checking Instagram or Facebook. Not OK.

One of my problems is finding something that's actually worth reading. It seems all the contemporary romances, or what used to be called chick lit, are now sex books. I am not complaining about erotica here I have no problem with that...jeez, this conversation is taking a turn for the worse but bear with me. What I am complaining about is ALL contemporary romances are heading towards the erotic category. I looked up a list of romances on Goodreads, the top ones from 2015, and got a few of the books from the library. After reading one, found out within two chapters of the book the couple was banging and banging in quite a descriptive fashion. Again, I am no prude, but not what I expected from a romance novel! Plus, nowhere on the Goodreads list did it mention anything about super sexy books or anything like that. In my day and age we used to walk to school uphill both ways a romance novel was for example, a Nora Roberts book. Lots of romance, maybe some suspense/mystery, a bit of sex but no using words that cannot be said on t.v., Wow, I am starting to sound like a prude so I will stop.

I am a newbie Amazon Prime member and found the Kindle First early release books. I just downloaded The Oddfits by Tiffany Tsao. My goal is to read that book this week. You see, when I read I am less likely to eat. Whereas I find myself mindlessly snacking while watching t.v., I don't do that when I'm reading because I am so into a book.

I am always on the lookout for new books. Here are my requirements:

-Happy ending (and I'm not talking the sexual kind)
-No children dying
-Can't be set in the Holocaust or WWII or any sort of war where lots of people die
-No ghosts
-Cannot be written in the present tense (I make a few exceptions for this, but overall blergh. Present tense makes my brain hurt!)
-Did I mention romance?

Not so hard to find, right? HA! What this list does is eliminate pretty much every popular book right now. No Gone Girl or The Book Thief or Girl on a Train or The Goldfinch or any book like that.

You know what author I really liked who hasn't written anything in a while? Jennifer Cruise. Her books are fun, funny, light-hearted, romantic, etc. I just looked and she hasn't published anything since 2010. No! Write some more, please! I enjoy Nora Roberts stuff although lately they have been a bit predictable. And in writing this post I just saw she had a new trilogy out so I'll request that one from the library thank you very much.

Do you have any authors you love that you can share with me? I am going to be a reading machine this year!

Monday, January 18, 2016

Why Can't a Fellow Ever Once Prefer a Solid Girl Like Me


Woo fricking hoo!

Saturday was a great day for running but I had a ton of stuff to do. Took the boys to the community center to play, then to Target for birthday presents for their friend, then back home. I dropped them off with my husband and really and truly just wanted to stay there and take a nap. I even found myself laying down on the chaise and closing my eyes. No Meg! I forced myself to get up and get dressed and run.

Why does the first mile of a run suck so damn much? At .75 miles I was read to turn around and go back home. I made myself keep going just so I could get past the "running sucks this is the worst why do I do this" feeling. I ended up with four miles plus negative splits!
It is cold here in Michigan, supposed to be cold all week. When the Feels Like temperature is -10 I can't run outside. I didn't sign up for the gym like I should have on Friday. Looks like I'll be doing that today on my lunch.

I survived the weekend which felt too jam packed and too short all at the same time. How does that happen? Five seconds ago it felt like it was Friday and now it's Monday morning and I'm exhausted. Sheesh.

Now, everyone keep your fingers and toes crossed this week goes better than last week!

Friday, January 15, 2016

Last Friday Night

Ah Friday. It has been a shit week. The only thing keeping me from burying my face in a trough of mashed potatoes is there is no trough of mashed potatoes at my house. Otherwise, I would've been all over comfort food like nobody's business.

Luckily, I had things to keep me busy. I am auditioning for a musical on the 24th. Since I want to do really well one of my friends helped me out with a voice lesson last night. The problem, he is an EFFING OPERA SINGER so I got all sorts of stage fright singing in front of him. Thankfully, we are friends which meant when he said, "Meg, get the eff over it" it was easy to laugh and do just that. He also offered to continue the lesson sans pants, which made me laugh. (Let the record show, his pants stayed on.) I felt pretty good after the lesson and we're going to meet again next week to go over it again. Next week's goal is emoting while I sing!

As for the weekend, I've got a packed schedule but some way, somehow I will end up going for some runs. I miss running. It was actually pretty decent last night but I'm a bit nervous for night time running. I planned to get up this morning and go but by the time I got home from my lesson last night it was after eleven. I already live on limited sleep I don't need it to be THAT limited. I am working tonight. Tomorrow will be game night at my friend's house. That means snacks and wine which means game plan, run on Saturday. I can do this!

Then Sunday the boys' have a birthday party to go to. I'm taking them shopping tomorrow to each pick out a present for their friend. I am excited to see what they pick out. They're getting so big and so full of opinions.

Anything fun planned for the weekend?


Thursday, January 14, 2016

I'll Be the Rock You Can Build On

I am sure I have mentioned on here multiple times about my love for Alan Rickman. When other girls were talking about the dreamy Robin Hood (Kevin Costner) in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, I was worried something was wrong with me, 'cause man, did I love the Sheriff.

Alan Rickman died today at the age of 69. I keep checking web pages thinking it might be a joke. Because he can't possibly be dead, right?

The loss of David Bowie hit me hard. This one, I don't know why, but this one just hurts so much. I actually cried when I read the article.

Alan Rickman memorably nearly whupped Bruce Willis' ass as Hans Gruber. Alan Rickman brought joy to a somewhat crappy Robin Hood movie. Alan Rickman loved Kate Winslet when she was flighty and thought herself in love with Mr. Willoughby. Alan Rickman made me snort laugh as Metatron. He broke my heart in Love Actually.

He embodied Professor Snape in such a way that me, as a woman who ALWAYS loves the book more than the movie thought, holy shit, he pulled his portrayal right out of my mind. Because he was the Snape I saw when I read the books before the movies even came out.

But, most importantly for me in particular, Alan Rickman helped forge a bond between a handful of women from all over the country. He was a common denominator when we joked about celebrity crushes. He was our group's spirit animal. Alan Rickman helped a gaggle of virtual strangers become friends.

That is why his death hits me so hard. I had this silly fantasy that someday I would meet him, somehow, maybe at a convention, and I would tell him how much he meant to our group, share that with him. I honestly think if he were at a convention the ladies in my Lovely Ladies Losing It group would have found a way to all meet there. We would have worn t-shirts with his face on it.

I think he would have gotten a kick out of that.

"After all this time?
"Always," said Snape.

RIP, Alan.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

I'm a Creep, I'm a Weirdo

It's dark and cold. I like running in the dark and cold, I'm feeling good. I have my headlamp on, my reflective pants and neon jacket making me more visible. It's a good run. 
I'm heading back home, just a little over a half a mile away, when a beat-up van pulls into the parking lot directly in front of me, parking at a weird angle less than twenty feet from me, almost blocking my path. The driver, an older white man, tries to get out of the car quickly. Something is off about this, my fight or flight instincts kick in. I choose flight.
I am sprinting as fast as I can, praying cars continue to drive by on the street, praying I can make it across the intersection before the light changes. My cell phone is in my pocket, I simultaneously fumble for it while focusing on GET AWAY RUN, RUN, RUN.
When I cross the street, I take a second to glance back. The man and the van are gone. I slow down, my heart in my throat, finish my run as fast as I can. I am shaken and nervous now, no longer enjoying the solitude and the darkness.

I like to consider myself a strong and fearless woman. I try new things. I take care of my own damn self. I am bad ass. I fix stuff. I use power tools.

I have never felt as small and weak as I did in that moment. I feared for my life. Someone might say, how silly of me to be worried over a man in a late model van, but I am telling you something was not right with him. For a second, I felt powerless.

I should not be afraid to run in my neighborhood. I should not even think for a second, "oh crap, that person is going to hurt me." It's awful.

That is what it's like to be a woman runner/walking alone on campus/walking out to her car after work/heading home from the bar/walking the dog...the list goes on and on.

There is something super fucked up about that.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Red, Red Wine

Cold weather seriously interfered with my training. Have no fear I managed thirty minutes of stair stepper on Friday and a whopping sixty minutes of the stair stepper/beast on Sunday. The quad pain is real!

On Friday, I maybe indulged a touch with some of my friends.
Little boys have no sense of mama being slightly hungover. C. woke up at 5AM on Saturday. I think that counts as cruel and unusual punishment.

It was a lovely weekend. Then, I started this week off with a visit to my future oral surgeon. You guys, I feel like this could be a running/dental issues blog with the amount of time I spend getting my damn mouth worked on. Genetics are a bitch!

Oral surgery is scheduled for Friday the 29th. I know you would think with everything I have gone through oral surgery is nothing, but you guys the one and only surgery I ever had in my life was my c-section, it was the first time I ever had an IV! I ended up with serious complications from that, plus I get super nauseated from any sort of anesthesia...what I'm saying is, yes I am a grown woman, and yes I have had a shit ton of work done on my mouth...but damnit I am still nervous!

Hope you had a fun weekend!

Friday, January 8, 2016

And She's Buying a Stairway to Heaven

I got my new stair stepper yesterday. Like a kid at Christmas I had to open it up right away and try the thing out.

I did five minutes right away. Then ten more minutes after dinner. I needed to go for a run last night so I left it at the fifteen. Holy balls my legs were burning and I was drenched in sweat. Yeesh.

My run was great, thank goodness. A part of me worried my legs would be too wobbly from the stair stepper but they were not. I survived.

It wasn't even that late but my brain didn't want to run. I ended up doing the whole, ha ha I will run 1.5 miles away from the house so I have to turn around and run back. It worked. My route took me through the downtown part of the city near my small city. There were people out going to the bar and stuff. Oh man, I used to be that young once, and go out on a week night.

Now I call it a late night if I stay up reading.

Just as I got home, a cop pulled someone over in front of my house. I tried for a police car/headlamp selfie.
Maybe not so successful.

I ended up running for forty minutes. With my fifteen minutes of stair stepping I was only five minutes away from an hour worth of cardio. Well, I couldn't leave it at that, could I? As soon as I got home, I took off my running jacket and some layers, put on Netflix and killed five more minutes on that damn thing.

My legs don't hurt as much as I thought they would. Surprisingly, my abs hurt. According to the awesome Runs to Get Waisted,  (who also recommended the stair stepper) it's because I have to use my core to keep my balance on the stair stepper. Makes sense.

Tonight I will do fifteen more minutes on that bad boy!

What are you doing this weekend?

Monday, January 4, 2016

This Is The Story Of A Girl

Between Chinese food the night before and some serious TOM issues rocking strong I am officially weighing in at my starting weight of 2015. Blergh.

I know if I weight myself in the next few days a lot of that weight will be gone. It just sucked to see such a high number on the scale when I was SO CLOSE to  being in Onederland in 2015.

I will not let that get me down.

I started 2016 off on a good foot. My sister was having people over for dinner so I decided to run to her house while my husband drove the boys over there. I ended up with four miles in somewhat snowy conditions. Four down, 996 to go.

I officially started half marathon training last week but with family in town I only ran once, on the 1st. This week I WILL get up and run early and I WILL kick butt at my training.

Since Santa did not bring me a treadmill I will also sign up for two months at our local community center gym so I can run on the treadmill if the weather gets too frightful. I can run in snow. I can't run on ice.

Out of the ten days I had off work I ran a total of two times. Once on Christmas Day because I got new running pants and wanted to try them out and the previous run I talked about. Apparently, I like running on holidays. Who knew.
The Guys were over stimulated and cranky and really wanted to run with me. I was able to get just under two miles in before they lost their collective shit and we had to go back home.

And yes, I did wear the Santa hat the entire time.

Maybe I didn't have the healthiest break physically but mentally it was awesome. I just spent time with my family and my kids and my husband. We ate out a lot and I made the best choices I could but didn't stress about it. I didn't binge, even when I was feeling emotionally drained. Another win there.

Now it's 2016. Here we go.