Tuesday, June 14, 2016

The West Coast Has the Sunshine and the Girls All Get So Tanned

I have a tankini I bought a few years ago. It doesn't fit me quite right in the top, I am well endowed and bathing suits seemed designed to make sure my breasts are usually a second away from spilling out. Plus, my belly is bigger so if I want it to be loose around the belly, it usually ends up loose on top. The bottoms are shorts or sometimes I wear the ones that look like a little skirt.

It's not a good suit for swimming with the boys. They like to grab onto me as they splash and frolic and inevitably their tiny hands grip the precariously perched edges of my suit and my breasts almost fall out.

I bought a Speedo over the winter with plans to use it for lap swimming at the pool. It is a modest cut Speedo, so the sides aren't cut up to my hip bones like traditional suits, and the back comes a little higher. I have yet to wear it to swim laps, no time, and it is only mid-June.

I took the boys to the pool by myself on Saturday. While I tucked them into their cute bathing suits with the sharks and beach balls, pulled on their Ninja Turtles rash guards, I debated what to wear. It was just me and them and I didn't want to constantly tug at my suit, worry about flashing an unsuspecting teenager, while I swam with the boys.

Screw it, I thought. I will just wear the Speedo.

My inner thighs, the jiggly, soft skin, have not been exposed to the light in years. I have a permanent tan line from skirts and swim shorts. The Speedo does not hide the soft roll of skin around my belly, the extra skin from my twin pregnancy and weight gain. In fact, the cut of the Speedo sorta emphasizes it.

But, my breasts stay where they are supposed to. I don't have to tug on the bottoms to keep them from sliding down. It is a good suit.

I wore the Speedo.

No one gasped in shock while I frolicked for hours with my two boys. No one kicked me out of the pool. There were all sorts of bodies on display that day- it was a hot one on Saturday- women in tiny bikinis, women in one piece suits, and men of all shapes and sizes with no shirts on, just swim trunks, their hairy backs and bellies on display.

I wore the damn Speedo and nothing happened.

I'm going to wear the Speedo again. I don't go to the pool so the sixteen year old lifeguard will get a crush on me, or one of the dads hanging around the pool will stop and think, "damn that is a fine looking woman". I go because my boys love to swim, could spend hours climbing up onto the edge of the pool and jumping in, over and over. I want them to look back on their summers and think of all the time they spent swimming with their mom who gave zero fucks (ok, maybe a few but I am a work in progress) about what other people thought about her and just wore the damn bathing suit that worked best.

Wear your damn Speedos!
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  1. Good for you!! I headed out to the pool for the first time this weekend and was proud of myself for how rarely I had to actively redirect my thoughts from how I looked. Other things are more important. :)

  2. What an awesome post!! I love that you want your boys to remember their fun summers in the pool! Well done, mama!!

    I will have to go look up the speedo swimsuit. I didn't even realize they made them for women!